By: Juliet Constantine
“Now Jacob went out from Beersheba and went toward Haran.
So he came to a certain place and stayed there all night, because the sun had set. And he took one of the stones of that place and put it at his head, and he lay down in that place to sleep.
Then he dreamed, and behold, a ladder was set up on the earth, and its top reached to heaven; and there the angels of God were ascending and descending on it.” (Gen 28:10-12 NKJV)
He was running for his life. Jacob was sure his brother would kill him. So afraid was he for his life, that his faith reached ground zero. Not even the blessing that his dad gave him, could serve as a shield from Esau’s wrath. He was marked for death and he didn’t take it lightly. In agreement with his co-conspirator, he ran for his life!
His mother was his advisor and co-conspirator. She was determined to see God’s words – “the older shall serve the younger” - to fulfillment. Jacob was the heir. God said it. She believed it, and that settles it. Jacob would be heir, no matter what. With this set determination, Rebecca wasted no opportunity to remind Jacob that he was God’s chosen. It’s no wonder Jacob started plotting schemes of his own to ensure that he gets the birthright. Jacob withheld food from a hungry Esau and only fed him after trading the food for Esau’s birthright!
When the opportunity to take it all presented itself, Jacob’s flimsy protest was only centered on being caught. But God’s words never lie! Beware, your sins will find you out! And so he ran. He had to.
Alone in the bushes and so far from home, he had time to think. He saw the error of his action and the pain he caused. Overcome with grief at what he had done and what he had lost, though tired and weary, he prayed to the God of his father Isaac for forgiveness. He agonized with God.
“How did I get here?” he must have asked, “What am I doing here, so far away from my loving family? My parents raised me well. I am from a good home. Why did I cheat and lie? When did I become a deceiver? How did I lose my way?”
Too exhausted from guilt and shame, he fell asleep on the ground with a stone for his pillow.
Like Jacob, sometimes I too have lost my way. In my pursuit for happiness, for acceptance, to belong: sometimes I get my priorities mixed up and ended up doing things that are so ‘alien’ to my nature. I might have listened to the evil advice of others in acting out the intentions of my heart. I had often asked myself, how did I get there? But in the midst of my struggles, acknowledging and confessing my sins and faults, I seem to hear God’s whispers, “you are not alone. I am with you.”
You too might have wandered far away from “home”. You might have lost your way. You too might have gotten your priorities mixed up or you may have done things in your life that weren’t part of your life’s plans. Disappointed and depressed, you may’ve asked yourself, “How did I get here?” You are not alone. God sees you where you are. Just call out to Him and He will be right there.
How did I get here? How did you? Does it matter? The important thing is acknowledging that I am not where I should be. I may not be where God intended for me to be; but like Jacob, God can turn my life around. Won’t you allow Him to show you the way back “home”?
Oh my Father, I’ve wandered far away from home, but now I am coming home. Please forgive me for straying from your principles. Keep me faithful always I pray, in Jesus’ name, amen.
Copyrighted by Juliet Constantine 2014 (for “Alone With God – Finding Jesus In The Scriptures” Daily Devotional)
